We leave tomorrow for Philadelphia for Lily's heart surgery, which is scheduled for Friday
Although it was hard when it was postponed 2 weeks ago, you can read about it here (as well as details on the surgery),we are now very grateful for the extra days we have had together as a family
To enjoy moments like this
and to be blessed to be here for Cole's first day of kindergarten. When you adopt an older child, you miss SO many of their firsts, grateful I didn't miss this one (thanks Jen for the reminder)
Sometimes things don't happen according to our plan, and in the moment it is hard to see the reasons, but we have seen many reasons over these two weeks. What was such a hard situation has turned out to be such a blessing. Continually reminded to trust in our heavenly Father, who knows and sees way more than I do.
Please pray for our precious girl, handing her over to the surgeons on Friday will be one of the hardest things we have ever done. Our peace and comfort comes from knowing, that ultimately she is in God's hands.
We will update regularly on facebook and here, we don't have a time for surgery yet.
It was a big decision to decide to send Cole to school this year. We were originally not going to, but he is doing so well, was in Kindergarten in China last year, wants to do whatever Mia does and is used to the structure. Also with me leaving with Lily for surgery on Thursday, we felt it may be the best thing. We are honestly not certain, but decided to try, if it is not the right decision we will take him out. He was very excited this morning though. Holding my breath today, and just managing to keep my emotions under control, can not wait until 4pm!! Praying for Him today and all my babies.
Lily would have started Kindergarten today, but we are waiting until after her heart surgery!
Today I feel a little strange, I can't really describe how I am feeling. I should be sitting in a hospital waiting room, praying, thinking, pacing, longing to see my precious girl and hold her in my arms again, but instead I am home, sitting on my deck, watching my kids play on the trampoline, while my precious girl sleeps safely and happily in her own bed.
You see Lily was supposed to have major heart surgery yesterday. As most of you know we have been waiting for this day for three years, since we bough her home from China, a very sick little two year old. If you have followed Lily's journey you know that it has been a roller coaster ride.
Due to the pulmonary hypertension in her lungs she has been unable to have cardiac surgery. She has been treated medically for 3 years, with the hope of her lungs improving. We were initially told she would never get surgery and she would live as long as her heart could survive. A year later after a second opinion and treatment, we saw a miraculous improvement in her lungs and were told surgery was possible. Then 3 days before the scheduled surgery, the doctors bough up concerns and decided she was still to risky and we should wait. In January she was supposed to receive another cardiac catherization to check her hypertension, but due to there being no cardiac ICU beds it was cancelled. She finally received the test in March, where we were given once again miraculous news, her lungs were even better - this time surgery was definitely a go.
January 2012 we started the process to adopt again, at the time we had been told Lily was getting surgery that summer, the adoption would be at least a year later, so we were good. Well with the delay in surgery by a year, it quickly became obvious that these two events were at risk of colliding. As it looked like Cole's adoption would happen in August or September, we started pushing to get
Lily's surgery in May or June 2013, unfortunately because our cardiac cath had been rescheduled, our surgeon was already booked, through August, so we took the first available date August 22nd, today!!
Well as you all know theses two life altering events happened almost back to back by 11 days. The logistics of planning for both, packing, child care, school starting, bonding to a new child (that's just the highlights), then never mind the emotional drain has been intense. With the surgery I was planning to be gone for at least 2-4 weeks, possibly longer.
I can't explain how the last 11 days have been. Of coarse they have been filled with joy as we integrate Cole into our family, but also full of pressures, errands, jet lag, and emotions as we anticipated surgery.
You see, although we know it is miraculous that we are at this place of surgical intervention for Lily, are grateful to God, and trust our heavenly father with our precious girl. As her parents we were dreading handing her over to the surgeon. We were ready, but we were not reading, if that makes any sense.
Needless to say yesterday was a day full of emotions. We were tied, the logistics of packing for 7 people, and making sure things were straight for back to school, meant a late night. We needed to leave by 8am so the night was short. Saying goodbye to our other children, especially Cole was emotional, but I have to say he did great. He went off quite happily with my mom. We arrived for our 1pm preop appointment early (that's a first), so had some lunch. Lily was doing great, not overly stressed about being in the hospital. We started our preop visit, vitals, EKG, chest xray. Then one of the surgeons came in to explain the surgery. The exciting news was that when they had discussed Lily's case that week, everyone was on board with the decision to do surgery, unlike last year. The surgeon decided they would do what the call "the full Monte". Although final decisions would be made in the operating room, if things went to plan, they would do a Bilateral Glenn, Fontan and fenestration, as well as other possible procedures all at once, instead of doing two or 3 separate surgeries.
Then it was time for the dreaded risk talk, and with this kind of major surgery there are of coarse many. After a few tears as the realization of what you already know hits even harder you have to sign consent.
This was then followed by the news that there was a scheduling problem and they weren't sure yet if the surgery was going to happen the next day. We were told to hold on and as soon as they new they would let us know. About an hour later it was definite, it was cancelled. Our surgeon, the top cardiac thoracic surgeon at CHOP is under high demand and there was an emergency that required his skills. He felt that because Lily's surgery was so big, he could not try and do both in one day. Of coarse we appreciate that, you want the man operating on your child heart to be at his best, and we understand that Lily is stable and this other patient isn't. It is what it is, but it was hard to hear and emotional. All that had gone into getting us there yesterday, the emotions, were hard to contain. Yes I shed a few tears, our nurse practitioner even shed some tears with me (love her). Our cardiologist came to speak with us, and was obviously very upset by the situation, but there was nothing to be done, so we packed up got in the car and drove the 5 hours home (in rush hour traffic). Picked up our kids from my mom and went to bed.
We were told they would could all us to reschedule and hopefully surgery would be 2-3 weeks from now.
We are filled with mixed emotions. Upset because we were ready, prepared, and had worked so hard to prepare for today. We do not want to go through the emotional anticipation of the surgery again, we want to be on the other side, with her doing great!! And then there is this sense of relief after hearing all the bad things that can happen you just want to take her and run in the opposite direction. You now have a temporary out.
So here is where we are at today. We are choosing to trust God as we have with Lily since day one. We are taking this extra time before the kids go back to school as a gift. Time to have some fun as a family with Cole. I have already done the school shopping, done all the laundry, cleaned my house. This logistically may work better as the kids will be in school. We have time to prepare more, and I can be here when school starts. We are going to continue to move forward and walk through the doors as He opens them. We are choosing to dwell on the positives of the situation.
The biggest of which is this
and being here for this
and for the fun I have had hanging out with Ethan today, and spending time with Benjamin while driving him to band camp.
We want to thank you all for all your prayers, love and support over the last few days, it means so much. We will continue to update and let everyone know as soon as we have a new surgery date.
We have been home a few days and are finally getting back on US time schedule
Cole did great on the plane ride home
He loved the personal movie screen, ate the food, and only slept the last 2 hours
We were exhausted when we arrived in Newark, NJ as it was 2am for us. Cole became a US citizen as we went through immigration
and he celebrated by eating - NOODLES
We had a 5 hour wait in NJ then a quick plane ride to Virginia, where we were welcomed home by some amazing friends - what a great surprise
Then it was home to bed - our precious son, in his bed, in his home - no words!!
The boys and Lily, and our extended family were still away on vacation. Cole got to meet them the next day. He was shy at first, but it didn't take long for him to be attached to his big brothers.
He had some fun getting to know his Papa
Amazing to finally be all together as a family
We are treasuring these days together, but are also very busy getting ready to leave next week for Lily's surgery. Cole is taking it all amazingly well. He has been school supply shopping, visits to the park, eaten Italian, Mexican and pizza (we have been very spoilt, by our church family that have provided meals all week). He cries at night when it is time for bed, and sometimes in the morning if he doesn't see us. It doesn't last long, and this seems to be his hardest time. At night, I think he just doesn't want to go to bed, in the morning I think he is scared we are not there. It is hard to know exactly as we can't ask him. We are so proud of him - he has had his whole world turned upside down, and we are so blessed by how loving and accepting he is of us. He is calling us by name, and learning his brothers, and sisters name. He is already repeating English words.
We feel so blessed and honored to be his parents, and to be his family.
Today we had our appointment at the US consulate to file all Cole's paper work so that he can become a US citizen. We weren't able to take our camera's or phones in, for security, so no pictures, but Cole was so excited to wear his buttoned shirt - this kid loves clothes :)
We spent the rest of the day, exploring the neighborhood behind our hotel, eating at our favorite noodle shop for lunch, swimming, and eating at our favorite western restaurant for dinner.
Tomorrow we pack up and leave Cole's province, Guangdong, and drive to Hong Kong. Our flight home is 10am Friday.
Our time here has been very special, it has been a priceless to have this time to bond with Cole
We are ready to get home, hug our other children, and be together as a family. We can not wait for them to meet their brother.
Thank you all for prayers, love, comments, and support, you are all apart of Coles story
Cole had a rough time with this. Because he is naturally very shy around new people, he had a hard time with each part of the exam.
He refused to stand up tall for his height, and refused to look and name the pictures for his vision test.
Oh well, he passed anyway.
They did draw blood for a TB test, we will get the results next week. They don't let you go in the room, so we could just hear him crying - not fun.
Once again bubbles came to the rescue
The afternoon was spent with some pool time for the kids, while I went to the "paperwork party" with the other families. This is where we complete all the paper work for our US consulate appointment next Wednesday. This is the last official thing we do, before leaving Thursday for Hong Kong, and Friday for HOME!!
This paper work insures Cole becomes a US citizen when he goes through immigration in New Jersey.
I think the stress of the morning, wore him out, this is the first time he has fallen asleep before bed time.
